After is usually when I think of it–whatever it is. Not just what I wish I’d said, but what I wish I’d done or eaten or chosen or written or mentioned. You name it. It’s not willful and it’s not through a lack of consideration or deliberation. It’s like a thought pattern.
I get it with writing. Only after I hit send can I imagine how the other person will view the essay or story. But for the rest of it, it’s like there’s a little door in my brain that only opens after.
Oh, how I empathize with this one. It’s the writing version of walking out of Target $150 poorer but without the one thing you needed to buy in the first place. I love hearing this–glad to hear we’re not alone.
Leah, right? I once thought about doing a fake send–and sending to myself first but can’t make myself do it…
I’ve done that, in a way, if only with my blog (should I not admit this?): Will hit publish, then read the post on my phone (for a different perspective) so that I can quickquickquick go back in and edit out all my typos and odd phrasing. How I wish we could write our projects as well, as quickly, as one might read them!
Ha, Leah, that’s a great idea. I may copy you. Looking forward to reading YOUR BOOK!
Oh, that “method” works way too (embarrassingly) well, Cynthia. I recommend it. 🙂 And thank you! Can’t believe it’s actually only a few more months away.
Cynthia… if I read you right…
I too experience this thought pattern…
and often pause before hitting that send button…
thou invariably a second thought surfaces…
the very moment the message is released.
I believe it to be a natural ordering of thoughts…
and thus consider myself challenged as to what
to do with the second thought…
once it has surfaced.
Does that make any sense to you?
Exactly, Helena, where in the world does that second thought come from? And why does it only come after?
Cynthia… A Google Search: what are second thoughts? revealed this:
“First Thoughts are the everyday thoughts. Everyone has those. Second Thoughts are the thoughts you think about the way you think. People who enjoy thinking have those… ”
― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky
I don’t know, Helena. It’s more like I can only get closer to what I think or want if I choose one course of action and live with it for a second or two, and then that opens my mind and prompts me to see other things …
sometimes I want to make a change and sometimes not; sometimes I can make a change and sometimes not : )
ah yes… the challenge as to what to do with that second thought…
Oh, it happens to me, too—often! And I’m guessing to all of us, right? It’s SO annoying, isn’t it? lol Sheesh!
Donna, I think what I’m talking about is bigger or more comprehensive than that thing that happens to all of us, but who knows?
I think what often happens (if not to all of us, but many, and certainly me–and probably you), is that when we’re in the moment, regardless of what that is, most things we will only give so much time to figure out or perhaps there’s an outside force (and life interference) that only allows us so much time. Time constraints generally add some measure of pressure. So many things need to simmer (that’s why, years ago, I put up a site called “Simmer Artist,” now gone), just like a pot of stew–or a manuscript. But once that decision or whatever is made, the pressure, however minute or overwhelming, is released, allowing that “door” to open. 😀