Yesterday was a travel day, and today I’m back home. When I first sat down at my desk, my mind felt too cluttered to start writing this…
Having been gone a week, I felt the need to attend to small details (mail, a list for tomorrow and another for the week ahead, bills) before writing this post.
…but now my mind feels too distracted by all of that to write this.
I stare alternately at my books, the creek–the tiny bit of water I can see out my window through the woods in the winter, the handwritten list of at the moment the nine ideas my mind has flipped through in the last couple of minutes for a post, and the empty screen.
I just went back and reread my first post in this series to remind myself why I’m doing this–to correct an imbalance, to bring the needle back to even, to become more mindful of me, to become more centered so that I can move out boldly from there. And I’m doing it here for accountability and so there’s the opportunity for conversation.
I have now responded to a text, made a phone call, gone to the bathroom, started an excel spreadsheet…
I need to bring it back in. One true thing about me.
It’s creepy and uncomfortable and scary trying to go public. Being a private person feels good to me. Why? Maybe that’s just the way I’m wired. Maybe it’s from growing up in a family of seven and then creating a family of six. I don’t know why. Another reason I’m doing this.
What is the opposite of private person?
- public person
- social person
- open book
Here’s something I know: I’m not trying to stop being a private person.