I’m a take-charge kind of person, a problem-solver. Perhaps I was born this way and then my predilection was honed by being the oldest of five. Or perhaps at the age of eighteen months when my sister was born, I decided it would be me rather than her. And so on.
My father used to tell a story that used to be funny–if Cindy’s in a room, then Cindy’s in charge. He actually said “the kitchen” but I think that muddies the waters. Anyway, this story used to be funny until my husband used it as evidence I was bossy. And there is that side of it.
My first instinct is not to be empathetic but to solve. I do realize that sometimes people just want to be heard and understood rather than solved. And sometimes I manage to turn off the problem-solving and just listen.
Reading this over, I wonder if I should have separated take charge from problem solver but they seem the same to me.
edited
~
Great post! I laughed! Its not a bad thing to have a take charge attitude, I wish I had more of one sometimes 🙂
Thanks, Sheila. It’s great to hear from you again. And I’m so glad you laughed. This trait does have its amusing side, as well as its irritating one. These days I try to be aware of all of its sides.
Cynthia…
A leader… YES! and… a good listener…
as demonstrated in your personalized replies
to all us merry followers…;)
Thanks, Helena! I can be a good listener, at least when I don’t try to take charge of everything : )
Cynthia, I have come to the conclusion that we must be related somehow….way back in some way in which our gene paths are connected. It would explain the many uncanny similarities! This is SO me! lol The thing is, it drives some people absolutely nuts—like my boyfriend! I have an answer for pretty much everything because there is almost always a solution or an easier or better way to accomplish something. I’m guessing (going by this “gene” theory) you also don’t give up hope too easily–if at all 😉
And I don’t know about you, but it also interferes with MY life in a big way ’cause I’m so often helping other people solve their problems : /
Donna, yes, kindred spirits. But since I’ve noticed myself doing this, I’m trying to take a step back–every problem is not mine to solve…
Yes, this is a difficult thing for me. It’s that “wanting to help ’cause I know I can” thing. Makes for a lot of self-neglect!
I’m thinking oldest of five too. To this day my siblings remind me that to them I will remain “Bossy Betsy” even though I’ve retired from solving their problems to focus on my own. Empathy comes more easily now that I need to show some to myself once in a while.
Betsy, that’s nice to know. And it’s nice to know you. I hope you’ll be back.
I’m the oldest of 5 also. I was expected to be grown and in charge at a young age. I’ve always stepped up to the plate and volunteered to be in charge of many things. Who knows what we might be like if we hadn’t been the oldest!
Chris, you’re the oldest of 5 too? I didn’t realize that. I know…what we might have been like if we hadn’t been the oldest… Interesting to think about.
Cynthia… on catching UP (lol)
Re: Oldest of 5… count me in!
Re: Post 16/365… rule-bender ~;D
Really, Helena? You’re the oldest of 5 too? A rule-bender I would have figured : )
Cynthia… True! The oldest of 5… thou rarely a part of the family…
thought by some to be an only child… fancy that, eh?
AND no kids of my own… by choice. My sister… the next in line…
is the take charge type… thus busting one ‘first born’ myth.
I suppose I come by rule-bending… honestly. LOL
Oh, all so interesting, Helena, and good for you for busting the myths, “bending” the rules, and forging your own path…
One Journey. Many Paths… 🙂
oh yes : )
In college I had a much older boyfriend who was a really good cook. He was making trifle (YUM) and had started layering the custard and cake in a big, wide bowl. It was an old-style bowl of the sort I typically saw in the kitchens of my friends’ grandparents. “I love that bowl!” I said, admiring the little orange poppies sprinkling the rim. He stopped to stare at me for a moment and said, “You have an opinion about a bowl. A BOWL.” And I said, well, yeah…? He shook his head in disgust (we didn’t last much longer) and commented that I appeared to have an opinion about EVERYTHING. I was truly stunned by this remark, not b/c it was a revelation, but b/c I couldn’t understand how I person could NOT have an opinion–some sort of opinion–about everything she encounters. I still don’t see how that’s possible. And I suspect that might be linked to my own *ahem* “take charge” tendencies. You?
Very interesting… But opinions are not linked to my take-charge tendencies… At least not verbalized ones. As part of this project I need to claim more opinions. I’ve been too quiet too long.