The exterminator has already been here, I’ve got mail to go through, the grocery store, a growing list of errands that includes two Christmas returns, a suitcase to unpack, piles to organize. When I was in Provincetown I would come here first, often before I was out of bed. This morning, although I’ve thought of coming here, I keep thinking of other things–checking in with my parents, a plan for the day, responding to comments from yesterday, a birthday gift, where I’m going to walk. A plan, a plan, a plan. Structure.

A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days. It is a scaffolding on which a worker can stand and labor with both hands at sections of time. ~Annie Dillard

Last spring, a writer reading my novel-in-progress commented that I needed to be messier. She said, “Write the word MESSY on an index card and put it in front of you on your desk.”

Yesterday I started my post first thing-ish but had to finish it on the airplane. I like the idea of coming here first and seeing what pops up before I let my need for order have its way. And this daily practice feels like a kind of grounding before I go out into the world to be swayed this way and that. Perhaps I need more chaos and whim. Perhaps if I ground myself first, it will be easier to sway.


 365 true things about me