Comments on: in threes

By: cynthia

cynthia — Wed, 21 Nov 2018 23:24:02 +0000

In reply to Sarah L. Thanks, Sarah. And my little cottage IS better now than before. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family.

By: Sarah L

Sarah L — Sat, 17 Nov 2018 22:11:26 +0000

Oh, Cynthia, what a time of grief! I’m sorry for your double loss. I do hope your writing home is even better than before and that reading and writing will help you recover. It’s sweet that your parents’ best photo was of them together.

By: cynthia

cynthia — Thu, 25 Oct 2018 02:19:58 +0000

In reply to K.. Thanks, Karen. Nice to see you here. Happy news about your book.

By: cynthia

cynthia — Thu, 25 Oct 2018 02:17:16 +0000

In reply to Lori. Lori, Sorry you lost your brother-in-law and sister all at once. I loved hearing about the bluebirds. And I agree. There is much we don't understand. Thanks for passing my story along to your mother. And thanks for leaving a comment. I hope you'll be back.

By: K.

K. — Thu, 25 Oct 2018 02:08:48 +0000

I’m sorry for your losses. Be kind to yourself. Grief knows no schedule.

By: cynthia

cynthia — Thu, 25 Oct 2018 01:16:16 +0000

In reply to Kirie Pedersen. What wonderful memories, Kirie. Thanks for sharing. I agree, it doesn't feel as if my mother has gone anywhere. Surely she is just waiting for me to come bring lunch. As if to prove that to myself, I play the voicemail I have from her asking where I am now and to call her when I have a minute : )

By: cynthia

cynthia — Thu, 25 Oct 2018 01:11:44 +0000

In reply to ANDREA LEWIS. Thanks so much, Andrea. Nice to hear from you.

By: Lori

Lori — Wed, 24 Oct 2018 04:27:24 +0000

Hello Cynthia,
I wish you comfort and peace and hope life calms for you.
I had a three hit year a couple years ago. First, I lost my brother-in-law. Second, a couple months later, my sister was gone.
My Mom was thrilled one spring morning when she saw two of a bluebird not usually, or ever for her, seen in our area. They visited her feeder, and when one left, the other followed, but after a hesitation. A short while later, the phone rang with news of my sister. The contrast of my mom’s joy at the birds and her grief soon after could only make sense if the sighting of the birds was part of the story. From time to time, she draws comfort from thinking about the birds and I tell her I think there is much we don’t understand.
I am grateful to you for sharing your story. I’ll share the part about your father and your bird with my mom tomorrow, it will remind her of the bluebirds and give her comfort.

By: Kirie Pedersen

Kirie Pedersen — Wed, 24 Oct 2018 04:20:52 +0000

Cynthia, for some reason your post leapt out today after not seeing your blog for a week or so. And I too am so sorry for the loss of your parents, and the oddness of how, after a long marriage, they followed each other. My parents died ten years ago after 62 years of marriage. Dad died December 11 when I was in NYC, and Mom died 365 days later. Some of my sisters and I were with her, singing all the songs she’d taught us. I read her “Meditations of an Old Woman” by Theodore Roethke from Words for the Wind, which she gave me when I was in fifth grade when she was studying at the UW where Roethke taught just before he died (near where I still live). Mom and I loved that poem together. As a teen, I’d read it out loud with some boyfriend accompanying me on the guitar. For the time it took me to read it, my sister Celia holding Mom in her arms, Mom opened her eyes again and stared into mine, pupils widening a little at the most beautiful metaphors. And then, with that permission, she returned to her dying. Now, ten years later, l talk with Mom every day as I wander in in the forest where I grew up and walked so many times with her. In summer, I sleep in a tent a few feet from where she meditated to get away from six kids when we were growing up. I swear she still helps me with my writing.

In this meandering post, sending love to you from across the continent. ~Kirie

By: cynthia

cynthia — Wed, 24 Oct 2018 02:27:13 +0000

In reply to Lindsey.

Lindsey, I thought of you often after your father died a month after your father-in-law at the end of last year. It didn’t seem possible. I thought I had misunderstood your posts. And I thought of you again after my mother died a little more than four months after my father. There’s a surreal quality to such a time period, as if one death could make sense but two so close together? Surely not.

I was writing this comment to you and remembered what an impression it made to see the name of your father-in-law and your father on your posts. That made me realize I had neglected to mention the names of my father and my mother. So I’ve added their names now–and links to their obituaries.

Thanks for your good wishes here. And sending peace and love back to you as you approach the year marker on your father’s death. I’m sure that is hard to believe as well. xoxo